Word Count Wednesday

I got another review of Ashes Ashes!  Thank you Tamera Westhoff.  Click here if you want to see what she thought of it.

As for word count, I'm excited to tell you that I have outlined Bart's story (the third book in my Hostage Negotiation Team series) and I started writing it!  I only have about eight hundred words or so, but it was awesome to see them on the page.

How did you do this week?

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Castle and Hawaii Five-O Review: Drones, Carlos & Kidnappings Oh My!

What an emotional Hawaii Five-O that was last night.  I knew I would have nightmares as soon as the little girl was shown to have a chain around her ankle and the newly kidnapped girl was brought in.  Every parent's nightmare.  I loved that the older girl was keeping a journal, since I'm a big journal fan myself, although I have to say when I saw what happened to her my first thought was, I hope her parents get that journal somehow.

It was interesting watching Danny's reaction to the situation.  You could tell he was affected from the first moment they looked in that shallow grave.  When Steve had to pull him back from questioning the guy who looked like a poor man's Patrick Swayze I knew it was going to get intense for Danny.  I liked that they kept the Steve/Danny cargument brief this week.  It seemed more realistic and really what else was there for Danny to say?  He'd been in those parents' shoes and it was horrific for him.

I didn't know how I felt about Steve walking away while Danny beat that guy.  I think there are standards and rules we have to uphold in our society and having law enforcement beat an unarmed man for information doesn't sit right with me.  (I know, I know, he'd given up his badge, but it was only for that moment and then he put it right back on.) But, on the other hand, my daughter who was watching with me said, if I had been kidnapped and he knew where I was, would you care if they beat him in order to find me?  I'm sure if I were in that position I would do anything to get her back, but truthfully, I hope I never have to face that.  (As an aside, didn't Castle just do that same thing when Alexis was kidnapped?  Hmm . . .)

I had a feeling the Kono thing with Adam would be coming to a head and I was right.  Next week looks intense.

Best light moment of the ep was the tiny girl in the sumo suit challenging that big guy.  And everyone making fun of Steve's new haircut.  All I can say is I hope it grows back soon.

Castle started out with a bang.  I always like when Beckett is frozen out of a federal investigation because she breaks rules and goes after the case anyway.  Plus, this episode had Carlos Benard in it (I miss you 24) so that automatically made it a great episode.  (And wasn't he just on Hawaii Five-O?  Hmmmm...)

The idea of a drone strike and the government testing it over our skies is obviously a current event topic.  It definitely sparked some conversation within my family as we watched it.  The twists and turns of who really did it (the goverment? the partner?  terrorists?) was well done and I didn't predict the murderer this time.  I love the light banter with the boys and Caskett about rise of the machines and the little remote controlled tank and helicopter scene between Beckett and Castle was funny.

I loved the tense interrogation scenes and Stack's admiration of how Beckett uses the silence.  The scenes with Beckett and Carlos had some chem didn't you think?  Not a Caskett chem obviously, but there was some energy about them that I liked.  I also liked Castle's heroic show of trying to protect Beckett against the drone shooting at them.  I always wondered if he felt a bit helpless since she can obviously protect himself.  Such a cute scene between them.

But now Beckett has a secret which it looks like the season finale will be addressing.  I'm nervous as to how it will be handled, especially with the preview of them on the swings.  *sigh*  I wish it wasn't the season finale already.

What shows are you going to miss over the summer?

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Three Book Reviews for Mother's Day

I've been a busy girl this week.  I read three books that would be perfect for Mother's Day gifts or for any of the women in your life just because.

The first one is One Drop At a Time by Russell M. Ballard.  I loved the idea of a honeybee only producing one twelfth of a teaspoon of honey their entire life and yet their contribution is vital to the whole.  I think mothers and women produce a lot of kind and compassionate acts that aren't noticed, just part of their one-twelfth, yet it is so vital to the health and well-being of those around them.  The book is short, has some illustrations and inspired me to look at my small acts of service in a different way.  And I definitely think our world and society could use more love and compassion to fill the world with sweetness.  For any woman in your life.

Here's the back copy:

Do you sometimes wonder if your little efforts could possibly make any difference at all? Consider a simple example from nature.

Honey is “one of the foods that includes all the substances— enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and water—necessary to sustain life,” writes Elder M. Russell Ballard. And yet, “Over its short lifetime of just a few weeks to four months, a single honeybee’s contribution of honey to its hive is a mere one-twelfth of one teaspoon. Though seemingly insignificant when compared to the total, each bee’s one-twelfth of a teaspoon of honey is vital to the life of the hive.”

Your simple, daily acts of service matter, and this charmingly illustrated little book will lift your heart as it demonstrates the power of many righteous people working together to fill the world, one drop at a time, with the sweet truths of the gospel.

The second book is The Beginning of Better Days.  This book is definitely for the LDS woman in your life.  It includes the full Minutes of the first Relief Society meeting and Joseph Smith's sermons to them.  There were many things I'd heard quoted before but not seen in context.  I found it historically interesting and thought-provoking, especially in light of today's society and feelings about the roles of women.  I also loved it because I had ancestors who attended those meetings and it brought me a bit closer to them, I think, in imagining how it must have been to sit there and listen to what was being taught.  It made me think of the timeless issues women face and were counseled about then and their relevance to me now as an LDS woman.  On an aesthetic note, I also loved the beautiful pages with ragged edges and the fact that space is left for your own thoughts and notes.  I personally didn't want to write in something so beautiful, so I refrained and wrote in my ratty old notebook.  But the opportunity to add your own thoughts is there.

Virginia Pearce and Sheri Dew share their thoughts on the sermons in the minutes through essays and those were quite revealing as well.  Virginia Pearce seems so down-to-earth in her approach to learning and reading.  She applies things to her life in much the same way I do.  Sheri Dew is very intellectual and approaches it more in a teaching manner. She is very forthright and has a style to her writing that I enjoy.  Both essays were well-done and added to the book.  My only complaint was that I would have preferred the sermons to be first, so I could reference them when I read the essays by the two women.  A personal preference I'm sure.  

Here is the back copy:

How important are women in the restored church of Jesus Christ? We learn something about the answer to the question from a simple historic fact: In 1842, the Prophet Joseph Smith took time to attend several meetings of the Female Relief Society of Nauvoo and give personal instruction to the women there. He did this at a time of great personal turmoil, when persecutions were raging and his responsibilities were heavy. He did it at a time when society barely acknowledged women as having any kind of status at all. On six separate occasions, he taught the women personally about their privileges, their opportunities, their obligations, and the blessings the Lord had in store for them in His kingdom.

The Beginning of Better Days includes Joseph Smith's six timeless sermons to the women of Nauvoo, along with personal essays from Sheri Dew and Virginia H. Pearce that help us better understand the sermons and their relevance for Latter-day Saint women today. "We have attempted to share a little about our own processes of discovery regarding the sermons," writes the authors. "This is what worked for us. What works for you may be similar — or it may be completely different. The important thing is to dig in."

And you can watch a video about it here

The third book I read was the last book in the Aliso Creek series, One Chance.  I've loved this romance series by Heather Moore and I'm sad to see it end.  I hope she has second books for each couple so we can find out more about what happened to them.

This book is about Valentina who is in LA for her cousin Sasha's wedding.  She meets up with her middle-school crush, Cesar, and he's still as cute and infuriating as ever.  Valentina is attracted, but he always seems to be surrounded by women so she backs off.  But when she fills in as the maid of honor at the last minute, Cesar is there to help her through the stress.  Things heat up between her and Cesar and suddenly she's questioning her life choices and whether she can really give up everything she's worked for in order to have a chance at love.  We catch up a bit with two of the other Aliso Creek couples, and I was glad to see it, but wanted more.  Of course, by the last page I really wanted to see a bit more of Valentina and Cesar as well, but that's how it is with novellas.  It was a satisfying ending, overall, and very romantic.  For the woman in your life who loves romance.

Here's the back copy:

Welcome to the Aliso Creek Novella Series

Liz, Gemma, Arie, Jess, and Drew have been best friends since creating “the Five” at Aliso Creek High School. But that was over ten years ago, and each is still trying to find that perfect someone... if perfect is even possible.

Valentina is the odd-woman out. She’s part of “the Five” when she dates Drew for a couple of years, and remains friends with the women, but with her traveling schedule as a runway model, it’s impossible to maintain a real relationship. When Valentina attends her cousin’s wedding in LA, she runs into Cesar, who she was school friends with in her native country of Puerto Rico. Cesar is not the young skinny boy she remembers, but a grown man who seems interested in what’s beyond her model-appearance. Back in New York, Valentina can’t get him out of her mind, but she also can’t deny the fact that they’re separated by more than one country

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My First Review!

My first review has been posted for my new novel Ashes Ashes.  It's fun and yet nerve-wracking when the book is finally out there and people's opinions about it start to trickle in.  So far so good.

Thank you Debra!

Click here if you'd like to read what she said about it.

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First Page Friday & Ashes Ashes is Available on Kindle!

YAY!  My new book is finally available on Kindle!  I'm so excited for you all to read it and let me know what you think.

Click here for the Kindle link

Click here to add it to your Goodreads

On to First Page Friday!  As always, thank you to our authors and editors who spend so much time polishing and helping us all be better writers.

The Entry
Reigning Cats and Dogs
by Jane McBride

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.  ~Woodrow Wilson~

I heard my front door slam open and I sent my fork clattering to my plate in alarm. Henry, my Great Dane, jumped up and we heard the frantic voice of my best friend, Kell Harris.

“Annie, I been robbed!”

Apparently she had expected us to be sitting in the living room and had attempted a dramatic entrance. Finding no one there, she came more slowly into the kitchen. Considerably deflated now, she said more quietly, “I been robbed.”

Kyle, my handsome fiancé, stared at her but I came out of my shock induced coma and leaped out of my chair.

“MMMwhat?” I usually don’t talk with my mouth full, but sometimes exceptions must be made. I took her trembling hands and began looking her over for bumps, bruises, and other signs of personal violation. With some effort, I swallowed my mouthful and tried again, “What happened?” Henry sat down casually near the table, thinking we might leave our plates unattended. He was hoping I hadn’t noticed, but I had. “Oh, go ahead, geez.” I dumped the remains of my plate into his dish and he smiled happily up at me before diving in. Kyle was up now too, and some long buried genetic male memory on the topic of chivalry had apparently come to the fore. He had been my knight in shining armor more than once and would look mighty fine on a big white stallion, but remembering to hold the door open for me on normal occasions was usually beyond him.

Ms. Shreditor's Comments

This piece opens with a Woodrow Wilson quote about dogs, and it’s an apt one. The heart and soul of this first page, for me, was the relationship between Annie and her dog. I like that he’s a constant presence in this scene, watching as Annie makes her melodramatic entrance and trying to capitalize on their distraction by sitting near the table. The quote suggests to me that Henry will be a major presence in this story.

One challenge here will be characterization. This piece drops some intriguing bits about each character (the dog-loving Annie, the melodramatic Kell, and the well-meaning but sometimes insensitive Kyle). These traits have the potential to turn these people into full-bodied, three-dimensional characters or cardboard cutouts. It will all depend on how they’re handled. Is Annie a perpetual attention seeker, or is there more to her behavior? Is Kyle just a good-looking fixture in the story, or will the story introduce more layers as it progresses? The first thing we learn about him is that he’s handsome, and this feels a bit gratuitous. Is this the most important thing we need to know about him from the outset? Isn’t it a bit contradictory to say that he’s forgotten the art of chivalry in one sentence and, in the next, that he’s been Annie’s knight in shining armor on several occasions?

I feel torn about the overall tone in this piece. Annie definitely has her own voice, but the narration feels stilted in places. For example: “Kyle was up now too, and some long buried genetic male memory on the topic of chivalry had apparently come to the fore.” I understand what the author is trying to achieve here—that snappy, snarky commentary that so many of us know and love in our fiction. But it doesn’t quite work here. If you read it out loud to yourself, it just doesn’t sound like how a person would speak or think—not because of the vocabulary level, but because of the syntax. Think about what you’re trying to convey—that Kyle’s inner white knight has been suddenly reawakened—and convey it as concisely as possible to maintain a snappy rhythm.

Again, this first piece suggests to me that the heart and soul of this story will be Henry. There is always, always a market for dog-themed stories. Make sure to flesh out these characters, particularly your narrator, in the early stages. The spotlight is on other people in this scene, so we don’t yet know much about Annie herself; she feels somewhat like a blank canvas. It’s okay if other characters steal the spotlight once in a while, but just make sure that none of them steals the show.

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I've Been Waiting and It's Still Not Up

So, I've been waiting to post the blog because I was SURE the Kindle version of Ashes Ashes would be live today, but it isn't and I'm disappointed.

Sorry to everyone who was waiting.  I'm still hoping and checking and will post it as soon as I see it.  Thank you all for your support.  The blog tour/book launch is going to be fun.  I've got some awesome contests coming up.

Check back for all the announcements.  And cross your fingers it goes live SOON.

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Word Count Wednesday

Well, I did about a thousand or so words in editing this past week and I'm so glad that part is over.  Now it's the fun part of blog tours and book launches.  Hooray!

This has been such a fun and exhausting process. I'm glad to see this baby going out in the world, though.  I'll let you all know as soon as I see it live and ready to buy on Amazon.

Big thank you to all of you who did sprints and supported me through the worst and the best.

How did you do this week?

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