Book Review: Targets in Ties

I'm so happy to be part of Tristi Pinkston's blog tour for her new novel Targets in Ties. She's offering a fun prize that I'll tell you about at the end. But before I get started, can I just say how full of awesomeness last night's Castle and Hawaii Five-O were? I loved both shows! Castle went back to it's roots with funny banter, a twisty murder to solve, and a little hand-holding. Hawaii Five-O had James Caan sharing the screen with his son, series regular Scott Caan, and some of his one-liners had me laughing out loud. Loved it all.

I also enjoyed Tristi's book. (See how I used a segue there?) I hadn't read any of the other Secret Sisters mysteries and apparently this is the fourth book in the series. It didn't bother me much, though, because it was easy to pick up who the characters were and their endearing quirks that totally made the story. It probably would have been a richer reading experience had I known all the history between these characters, but I don't know that for sure, since, of course, I haven't read the others. How's that for logic?

The story begins with three little old ladies, Ida Mae, Arlette, and Tansy getting ready to take a trip south of the border. While they're there, they'll also pick up Ida Mae's nephew, Ren, from his mission. Before they can do that, however, Ida Mae gets caught up in the intrigue surrounding an antiquities thief who claims he's innocent and needs the three ladies' help. As they all fall deeper and deeper into this web, the ladies don't know who to trust and where to turn for help, but they sure got themselves in a lot of trouble trying to get themselves out of trouble. If you know what I mean. It's a cozy mystery done well.

I liked the straightforward feel of the book---both in the characters and in the plot. It was an afternoon read with a lot of fun one-liners that made me laugh. I think I'm going to pick up the other three mysteries in the series so I can catch up, and, of course, wait for the next adventure to come out!

Since I am part of Tristi's blog tour, she is offering a contest in conjunction with it. Here's what you have to do:

Leave a comment on this blog post, and go visit Tristi's blog here and become a follower. You will then be entered to win this fun scrapbooking pack, including paper, tags, two decals, and metal tag frames. You have until midnight Mountain time on March 3rd to enter to win.



And here is the back copy of her book, Targets in Ties.

After two long years, Ren’s mission is finally over, and it’s time for Ida Mae, Arlette, and Tansy to travel to Mexico to pick him up. They have their itinerary all planned out—visiting the ruins in the Yucatan, shopping, playing in the sand and surf—and then they’ll head to Ren’s mission home and be reunited with that dear boy.

But a wanted antiquities thief crosses their path, and soon the ladies find themselves tangled up in a web of lies, intrigue, and costly jewelry. Held hostage by men desperate for riches, they do what only they can do—keep their heads about them, plan their escape, and discuss the proper making of tortillas. Will they survive their most harrowing adventure yet?

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Are You Having a Wilbur Day? Getting Out of a Rut

So yesterday we were discussing the part in Charlotte's Web where Wilbur is bemoaning his life---how hard it is to watch someone else eat his meal and how he doesn't know how his life is going to turn out. He's so despondent that he throws himself in a pile of manure. Then the question was put to us, "Have you ever had a Wilbur day?"

And all I could think of was, "I've never had such a bad day that it made me want to throw myself in a pile of manure."

I have had bad days, however. It's easy for me to fall into ruts and yes, sometimes I take a moment to feel a little self-pity. I think that it's okay to take a moment to feel sorry for yourself, but the trick is not to stay in that moment. If you are in a rut and thinking your life stinks, here are three things to try that have worked for me.

1. Change up your routine. If you have young children at home, do something different with them. Go to the park or library. Make up a game to play with them. Go sit on your porch and sing. Do something messy like fingerpainting.

2. Pamper yourself a bit. I find when I get in a rut, I've usually let taking care of myself slide. Go take a hot bubble bath. Give yourself a manicure. Take an hour for yourself to read or just rest. Grab a friend and go out to lunch. Tell your family you need this and you need their support.

3. Take a walk. I can't count how many times that doing a bit of exercise has improved my mood. Playing a basketball game with the kids or just walking around my neighborhood always gives me a lift.

Of course the best way to pull me out of a rut is for me to sit down and write. It is my biggest stress reliever.

Do you have a lot of Wilbur days? How do you pull yourself out of a rut?

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First Page Friday

We have some really interesting comments about present tense in today's critique. I know you'll find it as enlightening as I did! Remember, if you would like your first page critiqued, please submit it to juliecoulterbellon@gmail.com with First Page Friday in the subject line. We have a March spot open, first-come, first-served!


The Submission
Not Me
by Anonymous

“Angelica!”

Again with the yelling. My sister seriously doesn’t get the idea of sleeping in. Or how mornings should be enjoyed in peace and—

“You said you’d drive today!”

Yeah. Yeah.

I glance at the digital Mickey clock and groan; I could have slept in twenty more minutes.

I woke all twisted up in my sheets. Norma came to me last night in my dreams. My shrink told me to write down any memories that surface. Dreams included. But what if
I don’t like what I remember?

My stomach grumbles, and I decide it’s okay to get up now. My computer desk is a mess. I put away the scissors and newspaper from yesterday. The obituaries can wait. One clipping falls. I pick it up and see me. John Birch’s trench coat is thrown over me and my little sister. He’s trying to shield us from the snooping cameras. The caption reads “Teen Serial Killer or Innocent Bystander?”

I throw the paper in the red shoebox and stuff it in the closet before I slide on my cleanest jeans from off the floor. One quick check in the mirror tells me my hair is its usual mess. I flip my head over, rub my hands through and straighten up. That’s how I roll.


Angela's Comments

A Good Hook

In today’s fast-paced world of instant messaging and speed dating, a good story has a very limited time to convince a reader to stay and get to know it better. A writer usually has five pages or less (think of how many books you’ve browsed through at the library or book store, and set down after less than a page) to sell the reader on what a fantastic adventure awaits them if they will commit to the relationship and read the book. This story grabs the reader’s attention right away with the main character’s unique voice and with the dreams of Norma and the obituaries on the desk. Why would a teenage girl (we assume the narrative protagonist is a girl based on the sister calling her name, and teenage based on the character’s sarcasm) be clipping obituaries?

And a Promise

A good hook contains an unspoken promise that the story will continue to shed light on the mysterious, marvelous, or magical things that have been only hinted at. Let’s take a look at one of these:

Norma came to me last night in my dreams. My shrink told me to write down any memories that surface. Dreams included.

This is intriguing. Especially the name Norma, which wouldn’t seem to belong to a friend her age or anything. It’s ok to leave this a little mystery for the moment, but you’ll want to make sure there’s some follow-up explanation pretty quickly after the first page, maybe like in dialogue between the sisters as they talk about the Norma dreams or something.

Regarding the Norma paragraph and the obituary/serial killer paragraph: These add a good deal of mystery to your first page, and make some solid hooks, but you don’t want to leave the reader hanging too long wondering what this is all about. Make sure this is a real hook, immediately connected to the story, and not a smokescreen hook designed to pique our interest and then avoid answering these questions for pages on end.

Thoughts on Present Tense

Present tense is one of the least used tenses for fiction writing. Recently, there have been several books, especially in the literary and YA genres that have employed this tense, but it has some definite drawbacks, so use it with caution and know why you are using it. For instance, many writers, editors, and readers do not like this style. Obviously that doesn’t mean all editors or you wouldn’t see it in print. Does this mean you should never do it? In the craft of writing, there are exceptions to every rule. Present tense may end up being a workable choice for your story (I feel it’s generally working for these first few pages because you have a lot of internal dialogue, so the flow between external and internal isn’t interrupted as much as it would be in other books trying to use this tense ineffectively, and because your character has strong voice within both the internal and external parameters); but you shouldn’t select it simply because it feels edgy or trendy.

In English, past tense is the accepted form for most narrative, whether we are writing the Great American Novel or filling out the accident report on our fender bender. It is the style people slip into most often when recounting their own personal stories. Think about it: We say “Guess what I did?” not “Guess what I do?” We’ve been unconsciously trained our entire lives to feel comfortable with past tense, and that is still the rule, even though television and film have probably played a role in the increased use of present tense these past few years (in terms of the speed at which the narrative unfolds).

One reason writers use present tense is they think it will help keep the story very immediate for the reader, thereby increasing suspense. Handled with care, present tense can accomplish that. At the same time, the majority of books ever written have employed past tense, and many of those have masterfully kept the suspense high and the reader hanging on every word and scene, proving that present tense isn’t a requirement for maximizing tension and keeping the suspense cranked. Even keeping a main character’s life-or-death outcome a mystery can be done in past tense. But let’s face it: most readers are going to assume that the main character lives, regardless of which tense you are employing, so writing in present tense isn’t going to make a big dent in the readers’ assumptions. (As for actually killing the main character off and keeping it hidden from the readers – well, that’s a move you do at your own risk. Think readers with pitchforks and torches, coming to get their vengeance on your word-processor).

In addition, present tense limits perspective opportunities in the story. Award-winning author Philip Pullman has this advice for writers considering present tense:

“I want all the young present-tense storytellers (the old ones have won prizes and are incorrigible) to allow themselves to stand back and show me a wider temporal perspective. I want them to feel able to say what happened, what usually happened, what sometimes happened, what had happened before something else happened, what might happen later, what actually did happen later, and so on: to use the full range of English tenses.” (“Philip Pullman Calls Time on the Present Tense,” The Guardian, September 17, 2010).

So while you have creative license to use any tense you want, consider using the tense that will appeal to the greatest number of readers, and give you the most freedom in developing your story. One option you may consider is to use present tense for things such as a prologue/character introduction (Dean Koontz does this nice segue from first person present to first person past in the introductory chapter of Odd Thomas; Night Circus effectively does this with 2nd person), or for a dream sequence.

In short, if you find (through professional-esque feedback as well as your own opinion) that you are using present tense effectively and with good reason, go for it; but if you are limiting the narrative just to be trendy, reconsider.

Curiouser and Curiouser: Making sure intriguing doesn’t become confusing
The caption reads “Teen Serial Killer or Innocent Bystander?”

This is all interesting, but this clipping obviously isn’t an obituary, so it would be helpful to clarify (“A clipping from another section of the paper falls”) because readers are trying to figure out how that would be in the obituary section. The headline pulls the reader in with unanswered questions – is it referring to our narrator? If so, a potential killer named Angelica? Her sister? Someone else? And who is John Birch and what is his relationship to the sisters? This paragraph does a great job at packing a lot of fascinating information into a short space (which is just what you want for a first page.) At this point, I am definitely curious. Just make sure that you don’t put in intrigue that is too much for the space allotted, making it confusing instead. Confusing a reader in the first pages is a very bad idea.

Conclusion
That’s how I roll.

The narrator has a great voice, with an assurance that is unusual for someone her age. Definitely a captivating beginning. Angelica is interesting, her background is interesting, and we’re intrigued to see where the sisters are going and what their lives are all about. At this point there’s nothing clear at stake for the character, but your hook with the background makes up for that, I think. Just make sure to have the “what’s at stake” part of the hook come up pretty soon after the first page. But overall, if I were an agent, I would definitely turn the page to see what’s next.
Best of luck!


Thank you to Angela and our submitter. I learned a ton today about present tense and I really appreciate everyone's time and effort. See you next week!

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Getting To Know Author and Book Reviewer Jennie Hansen

I am so excited today to introduce you to Jennie Hansen. Not only is she one of my favorite authors who writes in several genres--suspense, historical, and western to name a few, she is also the LDS fiction book reviewer at Meridian Magazine. Thousands of subscribers look to her in recommending good books and where to spend their precious book money. But there's more to her than just reviewing books and writing, so I thought I'd take today to interview her so you can all get to know her better.

*ahem*

Jennie, if you could be one of your characters from your books, who would you be?

Hard question. I've never wanted to be any of my characters, certainly not the historical ones--I'm far too enamored with indoor plumbing to want to trade places with any of them. Each of my heroines has qualities I hope I share, but I don't want to deal with their problems or already have. The one character I sort of modeled after myself, most of my readers disliked, so I won't even mention her. I think I bombed on this question. Let's try the next one.

Okay, now I'm dying to know which character you modeled after yourself! I might have to offer a bribe of some sort to get you to share. Can you tell us what your writing process is? Do you write daily? Morning? Evening?

I used to have a strict schedule, two hours before work every morning, another two hours in the evening. Now I write every Monday morning and the rest of the week I sandwich in whatever time I can. I thought when I retired from the library I'd have lots of time to write, all day every day, if I wanted. But life had other ideas and now I wonder when I had time to go to work five days a week.

I can definitely relate to trying to sandwich writing in. What do you think is the best writing tip you ever received?

Read something every day; write something every day.

Excellent advice. I always need an excuse to read and write more. Where do you get ideas for your books?

Some of my ideas came from newspaper stories during my reporter days, some came from issues that are important to me, some just popped into my head from who-knows-where.

What are you working on now?

I have a new book Heirs of Southbridge that will be released in a couple of weeks and I just turned in a rewrite for an untitled book featuring a character from that book. It will be a stand alone, not really a sequel.

Who is your favorite author?

I don't have a favorite author; I have lots of favorite authors, past and present. Perhaps the one I like the most is Janice Sperry, my daughter, who just signed her first contract for a Christmas book. Moms are supposed to like their own kids best, aren't they?

Well, if they're Janice Sperry, then of course! We love Janice on my blog. Let's talk about your reviewing process for a moment. When you are reviewing books, what are you looking for that would make you give it five stars?

I want characters I can believe in and who show growth through the experiences they face; I want a strong, well-paced plot; I want a beginning that intrigues me and an ending that is both satisfying and realistic. I want attention given to grammar, a setting that blends into the story well without taking over the story, and when I've finished reading I want to feel I haven't wasted my time, but am glad I read the book. Learning something new is a bonus.

Is that all? Well, no problem then. :) Really, that is something I think every writer should print out and shoot for. I know I am! Tell me, if you weren't a writer, what would you be instead?

When I was little I planned to be a sheep herder when I grew up. I always liked sheep and thought those little wagons the sheepherders lived in were cool. Later I set my sights on becoming an FBI agent. I tried a variety of things: receptionist, legislative page, model, librarian, reporter, editor (oops! I guess those last two are writers too). I love being a wife, mother, and grandmother, and I'm glad for the opportunities I've had to try other careers, but I can't imagine not writing.

Awww, a sheep herder. They do look like cute little animals. What is something unique about you that your readers don't know?

At this point in my life and writing career, to borrow a cliche, my life is pretty much an open book. Perhaps I've never mentioned that I once lived in a cemetery (caretaker's house), I've broken my nose twice; the first time I was kicked by a cow, the second time one of my kids banged my nose with her head. I won a marble tournament in the fifth grade. The principal made me give the boys back all of their marbles and declared me ineligible for the contest because I was a girl.

Oh wow. You have led an interesting life! What was the last book you read?

It was either First Nephi by Nephi or Funeral Potatoes by Joni Hilton. I'm half way through Slayers by C.J. Hill, whom everyone knows is someone else. Does that count?

Of course it counts! Thank you so much for the interview and for some really great insights into the life of a writer/reviewer. I also like to learn new things and I'm appreciative of all the time you've spent in your life helping writers become better at their craft.

If you'd like to read more about Jennie you can go to her blog here. You can also read her reviews every Thursday at Meridian Magazine here. As she mentioned, she has a new book coming out, Heirs of Southbridge, and I, for one, can't wait to read it.

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Word Count Wednesday

So I made it through the door just before 1:00 a.m. this morning from my critique group. By the end I was a little punchy and laughing at things that probably weren't really funny but seemed so at the time. (Does that ever happen to you? It happens to me a lot lately.)

But the best part of last night besides the cake and the laughs, was the suggestions I got on my manuscript. My mind could hardly stop thinking long enough to sleep and I got up this morning totally motivated to revise. I love that feeling.

My word count this past week wasn't that great. But I think with my critique group comments and my beta reader comments coming in, I will totally ramp that up this week as I make my story better and stronger. It also takes me one step closer to submission, which is always a cause for celebration.

How did you do this week?

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Castle, Hawaii Five-O and What's Clean Romance to You?

Hawaii Five-O had a lot of banter last night with Steve and Danny that was nice. I'd been missing that. And Apollo Anton Ohno as a guest star, so yeah, that was awesome. He does do "bad guy" quite well. (I voted for him on Dancing With the Stars. I miss Julianne Hough. But I digress.) And even though the case itself wasn't that stellar, the scenery was gorgeous. Yes, Hawaii, I want to come and visit you personally, but at least I can live somewhat vicariously every Monday night.

To tell you the truth, I watched Castle before H50 last night for the first time in ages. The storyline was so good from last week I had high hopes for the conclusion this week, both plot-wise and relationship-wise. Unfortunately, it was the same old bait and switch on the relationship front. (The plot wasn't half-bad, though, since you know how much I love the spy stuff). Last week left us hanging, with Castle and Beckett about to drown in the Hudson. This week, we see Beckett who looks like she's drowning, Castle is desperately trying to come to her aid and he does so at the last minute. But instead of even a hug after this near death experience, once again we get a brother/sisterly sort of "thanks" and then a shoulder bump at the end of the eppy after they almost die a couple more times.

At this point I don't think the writers know how to write romance because they've certainly lost me with what they're trying to do---besides frustrate viewers. Castle and Beckett absolutely had the tension, the looks, the flirting in the first three seasons and that was a large part of what drew me into the characters. Castle was must-see TV for me. But then they had Castle declare his love at the end of last season and then they've pretty much acted like best friends/brother & sister types ever since. It's too bad, really. I hope it gets better.

But that got me thinking about romance last night. Romantic suspense is my favorite genre, but lately I've been reading a lot of historical romance. I belong to a "Clean Romance" group on Goodreads for those of us who like romance without explicit intimacy. There was a book recommended on the site as a clean romance, With His Lady's Assistance by Cheryl Bolen, and since it was regency I decided to buy it. It started out with a British spy, Captain Jack Dryden, being called back from the Peninsula to help find the assassin who was targeting the Prince Regent. Of course, the spy couldn't function among the ton without someone to smooth the way, so the Prince Regent suggests a woman who has all the connections, but is sort of unattractive and thus unmarried. (Sounds like something right up my alley, right? Spy stuff, I love you.)

Daphne Chalmers is smart and educated, but she also has to wear spectacles and doesn't care about fashion. She makes others feel at ease, and is discreet about indiscretions among those of her class. She finds Captain Dryden extremely attractive and is happy to play his faux-fiancee until they find out who is plotting to kill the Prince Regent. Of course, she's actually got really pretty eyes behind the spectacles (but no one really sees them except Captain Jack) and is almost beautiful when she tries to dress up and actually does something with her hair. But that's a given in these romances is it not?

There are some funny moments as they try to keep up their facade to be engaged and uncover the nefarious assassin. The author writes the main characters well. I did guess who was behind the plot quite early on, but there was a little twist at the end that surprised me. But all's well that ends well, if you know what I mean.

The thing that I wanted to discuss today was what you think of "clean romance" or as this book is billed on Goodreads as a "sweet romance." For me, clean or sweet implies that there isn't any sexual relations or anything that implies it. So, With His Lady's Assistance could technically be categorized as clean, since the main characters remain chaste throughout, however, there is quite a bit of discussion about adultery and certain acts that are committed in an opera box no less, which is apparently okay because it's just what rich people do. There is some discussion of what happens during sexual intimacy, and a conversation between our hero and heroine about certain parts of the anatomy and what happens when you are physically intimate. (And those things could have totally been left out and weren't integral to the story. As is usually the case.) But because of the inclusion of these things, for me, I can't say this book is "clean" romance and wouldn't recommend it as such. But where do you draw the line? And do you tell the others in your clean romance group your thoughts on whether you consider this book "clean" or not?

I know this is a matter of taste, but I'm interested to know, what do you consider clean romance? And do you read or like clean romances?

Also, here is the back copy of With His Lady's Assistance:

To help him mingle in the highest echelons of English society to investigate threats on the Prince Regent's life, super spy Captain Jack Dryden must feign an engagement to the exceedingly plain spinster, Lady Daphne Chalmers. Together they embark on an investigation which brings them into grave peril – and makes the captain reevaluate the skinny maiden who has a most amorous effect upon him

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What Would You Do? Africa or Bust . . .

My daughter has the opportunity to spend two and a half weeks in Gabarone, Botswana this summer. I know, awesome, right?

Well, except for the fact that it's halfway around the world. And she's my little girl (who, you know, is an adult, but still, she'll always be my baby girl).

Now, when I was younger I traveled to Greece alone and thought nothing of it. I had a great time exploring Athens and the islands. But there were a few incidences that made me nervous and when I think back on them now I see how naive I was and how those situations could have turned ugly fast. And that was quite a few years back. So I'm a little nervous about her going to Africa.

Of course when she shows me the map and all the amazing things she could do and see, I think to myself it would be a once in a lifetime experience that she would always remember. And it's not like she hasn't traveled before. She's been to Honduras, Guatemala and Mexico, but she was with a tour group then. This time, she would be traveling alone (or maybe with her brother if he can get the money).

So, if you were me, and your daughter wanted to go to Africa and went around singing Africa by Toto,(so much so I sort of hate that song now) (oh, and she's saved every penny she's earned in the last few months so she can go) what would you do?

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