Book Review: Baked Alaska

Tour Schedule

(As you can see, I'm part of the blog tour for Baked Alaska, so go enter the contest, and take a peek at what other bloggers are saying about Baked Alaska,)

This book is another home run for Josi Kilpack in her Sadie Hofmiller series.  I love how Sadie just seems to fall into these things in an organic way.  Her family is funny and quirky and still has issues, and her boyfriend is always taking what happens to her in stride, although even he raises his eyebrows at her sometimes.  It's cute and fun.  The mystery always keeps me turning pages and this one was no exception, although I think this is the first one that I've read that really involved her children.  (I missed the Boston one.  I know, I know, I need to go back and read it, it's pivotal somehow.)

At first I wondered how it would be for a murder mystery to take place on a ship where you can't really run away, but the author does a great job in giving us an edge of your seat whodunit that is made even more tense by the fact that they're on a ship.  I didn't guess the killer, which was nice, but I also felt like I wanted a little more motivation from the killer.  There were loose ends on why this person would do what they did that left me a little unsettled.  But it was still a fun Sadie mystery.

This one also included a good look at Sadie's relationship with her kids, but it hit a little close to home for me.  I've never taken an Alaskan cruise, or discovered a dead body, but I am an adoptive mother, like Sadie is, and my son is about where her son is at in the whole "meeting his birth mother" process.  Without giving away any spoilers from the book, I feel as anxious as Sadie did to figure out her feelings toward the relationship her son was going to have with the woman who gave birth to him.  It's so complicated and hard to explain, but I liked how Sadie dealt realistically with these issues. It was freeing for me in a way and maybe something I needed to read to work it out in my head.

Baked Alaska is a nice twisty mystery with a lot of heart.  You'll smile, laugh, and shake your head, but you'll also turn pages long into the night to make sure you don't miss even one beat of this story.

Here's the back liner:

Baked Alaska by Josi S. Kilpack

An Alaskan cruise is the setting for amateur detective Sadie Hoffmillers latest adventure. Sadie plans to spend time relaxing with her two grown children, Breanna and Shawn, and her boyfriend, Pete, while enjoying the luxury and cuisine of an elegant cruise ship and helping to plan her daughters upcoming wedding. But even as the crew prepares to leave port, Sadie has suspicions about the voyage ahead and the relationship between her normally easygoing son and a mysterious female passenger he obviously knows but refuses to discuss. When the woman is discovered unconscious during the second night at sea, Sadies apprehension escalates. Over the last few years, Sadie has developed an extreme dislike for secrets and it would seem her son is keeping one from her. *Includes eight new mouthwatering recipes, tested and approved by the official bakers of Sadies Virtual Test Kitchen.




Praise for Baked Alaska
Josi Kilpack has done it again. You would think that all these events that occur in Sadie's life wouldn't be natural, but Josi Kilpack has a way of making you believe that it just "happens" and it is normal. I have grown to love Sadie's character, even if she is a busybody, you can't help but cheer for her as she attempts to solve a mystery or crime. One of my favorite series. :)
~Goodreads Reviewer Lacey McNeill

Purchase
Amazon * Barnes & Noble * Deseret Book

Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery Series

Author Josi S. Kilpack

Josi S. Kilpack grew up hating to read until she was thirteen and her mother handed her a copy of The Witch of Blackbird Pond. From that day forward, she read everything she could get her hands on and credits her writing “education” to the many novels she has “studied” since then. She began her first novel in 1998 and hasn’t stopped since. Her seventh novel, Sheep’s Clothing, won the 2007 Whitney Award for Mystery/Suspense, and Lemon Tart, her ninth novel, was a 2009 Whitney Award Finalist. Josi was the Best in State winner in literature for 2012 and currently has two books (Banana Split and Tres Leches Cupcakes) as finalists in the 2012 Whitney awards.

Josi currently lives in Willard, Utah, with her family.

Website * Twitter

Blog Tour Giveaway
$25 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash
Ends 3/20/13

Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer http://iamareader.com and sponsored by the author. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.


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First Page Friday

I'm so glad Friday is here because it's time for First Page Friday!

Thanks to Ms. Shreditor for her critique and to Brienne for being brave enough to submit.  If you would like your first page critiqued, please follow the guidelines in the sidebar.  See you next week!


The Entry
The Story Of Bean 
by Brienne E. Wright

A new century had begun and on its dawning Bean was born.

Outside was cold and the wind bit at the flesh, but inside the tiny, barely two room hut, Michael was sweating. Being the ship’s engineer and managing the furnaces, Michael was use to heat and sweat but this was an entirely new experience. He paced the room in nervous anticipation. Each cry, each curse cause him to jump and stare as if it was the first and entirely different from the last. The sounds were so horrific. More horrific than any Captain barking out order during an attack or an ocean tempest and Michael feared no living soul would emerge.

The screams subsided and there was silence for a moment, Michael held his breath. Michael’s heart skipped several beats and his nervous anticipation turned to uneasiness and fear with the first infant cry. He stood still, eyes fixed on the door, behind it the birthing room. Subconsciously, he curled and flexed the fingers of his left, metal clad, hand. It was a slow rhythmic movement, one he has repeated regularly since the accident that scolded his skin from tip of finger to elbow.

The metal glove was of his own design and construction, using the skills from his countless hours as a blacksmith apprentice prior to his unwilling career aboard stream vessels. The glove had soft leather that rested atop his damaged skin and under the metal cover. Both were secured on the underside where his skin had been spared.

There was little left of pain, but the rhythmic movement, which had started to keep his hand from stiffening into a useless mangled piece of flesh, was now a soothing comforting motion that Michael only noticed when it was interrupted.

The movement was interrupted by a baby being placed in his arms. The ships nurse, who knew less about birthing and babies than she did about sewing up a wound, had emerged from the room with a poorly wrapped bundle in her strong but seemingly frail arms.



Ms. Shreditor's Comments

There is some strong storytelling at work here. Opening with Bean’s birth is a clear signal to the reader that this baby will factor prominently into the story. We watch the scene through Michael’s eyes, and we pick up some important details about him along the way: that he is a new father, that he wears a metal glove because of a past burn injury, and that he works as the ship’s engineer.

The narrative moves along at a fairly fast clip thanks to the high level of suspense. Perhaps the greatest strength here, however, is the liberal use of sensory imagery. We feel the wind biting at Michael’s flesh, we hear the sounds of screaming inside the birth room (and the blissful moment of silence before the newborn Bean starts crying). There’s power in sensory details, and this story draws upon multiple senses to engage the reader.

The problems here are at the syntax level. There are quite a few spelling and punctuation errors, verb tense issues, and some awkward turns of phrase that fog up the writing in parts. This piece needs a thorough copy edit before it’s ready for submission. Errors such as “ships nurse” (instead of “ship’s nurse”), “stream vessels” (instead of, I’m assuming, “steam vessels”), and “scolded his skin” (instead of “scalded his skin”) can, with just a few keystrokes, undo years of hard work. You may have fine-tuned your characters and worked on your pacing, but if your first page is riddled with mechanical errors, an acquiring editor will likely perceive it as lack of effort. As I mentioned in a recent column, the editorial process for your average book is pretty rigorous. An editor might be reluctant to take on an author who hasn’t polished his or her submission to perfection—or as close to perfection as one can get before professional editing—because a potential author needs to be ready for multiple rounds of editing on multiple levels.

Manuscript acceptance/rejection is a complex process that hinges on multiple factors. One typo won’t necessarily sink a manuscript, and a total absence of typos won’t guarantee acceptance. However, you don’t want to lose out on a publishing deal because your compelling, well-written sample chapters haven’t undergone sufficient editing/proofing. Dig deep and take the time to review your writing line by line. If possible, find someone with fluent knowledge of American grammar to edit it. A story with this many intriguing elements is worth the effort.

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The Story Puzzle

You will be happy to know that I had a breakthrough last night.  I was revising the chapters and plodding along with my outline when it suddenly hit me.

The main character is talking throughout the book about this major event in his life that has really affected him, but he only talks about it.  What if I redid the first chapter and we experience that event with him?  Then we can be as affected as he is, and his later interactions and difficulty getting through it are that much more impactful on us as readers as well.

It was like a piece of the puzzle finally came together.  The chapter literally flowed from my fingertips and it made the succeeding revisions that much better because we had seen and felt the same things he'd seen and felt.  We were there, on the emotional map with him as it were.  And it colored the perception of the story's events.  It made it better.

Stories are like a puzzle that we have to fit together.  We have the characters, conflict, and setting that have to be balanced, but they also have to fit.  It's a fine line for sure, but once you're on it, it's an exciting line.  And I'm totally excited right now.

David Farland gave a great Kick in The Pants Entry about Story Puzzles.  It's well worth the read.  And with my experience over the past while of frustration when my puzzle wasn't coming together, it feels great to finally feel like a master puzzlemaker.  The conflict is working.  My characters are awesome.  And my setting  seems perfect. And I realized finally that my story puzzle is beautiful.

Do you see stories as puzzles?  What do you do to work things out in your mind so the puzzle comes together?

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Word Count Wednesday & I'm Struggling

Well, last week I told you all about my plotting problems.  This week hasn't been much better.  I'm having a hard time sitting down and really focusing, mostly because I've had a lot of mom things on my plate, but partly because my motivation is pretty low right now.

Sometimes being a writer is hard.  It requires energy that can be hard to find.  Yet, at other times, I can hardly contain my excitement and the words just flow.  If only I could tap into that second one more often.  I think about it a lot, but maybe I just need more action.  Here's some quotes that I'm using for motivation today.

"You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind." - Gordon B. Hinckley

"When we feel stuck, going nowhere, even starting to slip backward ... we may actually be backing up to get a running start."-Dan Millman

“The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us.” – Marianne Williamson

"Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces, and which most men throw away." - Charles Colton

How was your word count this week?

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Hawaii Five-O--Poor Chin Ho

Since I hadn't seen the first showing of last night's repeat of Hawaii Five-O, I was glad they'd given it another run.  It was tense with Chin getting kidnapped by a creepy Baldwin brother.  Although the first scene was awesome with both Danny and Steve punching the Baldwin brother in the face.  Who hasn't wanted to do that a time or two?

Then we have our Romeo and Juliet romance with Kono and her bad boy boyfriend.  You knew it was going to come down to that---where she sneaks around to see what nefarious things he's really up to, even though he's claiming to go legit.  I can already see this is going to end badly.

Poor Chin waking up in prison.  I think that would be a recurring nightmare for a cop.  Holy cow, though, when Chin is thrown into that laundry room and that ginormous prisoner/crooked cop walked in?  Edge of my seat right there.  But, we have our resident cooperative jailbird to the rescue.  I love them working together.  Sang Min is so funny and gets a lot of great lines.

The prison riot was awesome/horrible.  The look on Steve's face when he realizes Chin is in the prison was really well done.  He knows he has to get Chin out of there fast or he's a dead man.  And Steve McGarrett hates feeling helpless.  (His concern for Kono and not giving up on Chin was awww-worthy.) The whole tone was spot-on with everyone wanting to help Chin, but knowing he's on his own.  Loved it.  And the showdown with Kaleo?  Wow.

Although I have to say it was more than unrealistic that the three of them could go up against a prison riot like they did.  And Chin only wanted to save the cute nurse?  What about the guards?  I guess you can't save/help everyone.  I did like that Sang Min got away.  He is an interesting character for sure.

Lots of action, lots of great lines, and a happy ending.  Something for everyone, right?

What did you watch last night?

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Book Review: Tres Leches Cupcakes

I'm sorry I haven't posted before now. I've had my nose buried in a book.  Tres Leches cupcakes stars my favorite Josi Kilpack heroine, Sadie Hofmiller and her latest adventure in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  Sadie is still in hiding from a threat in Boston (I missed a book, so I'm not sure what that is!  I need to go back and read that one.)  She takes a job on an archaeological dig as a BLM informant.  Everything is going along fine, no bumps in the road at all, until two "fresh" bodies show up at the dig and one of the best people they have goes missing.  And she goes missing after a bar fight that Sadie is accused of starting.  Haha!

*ahem*

Seriously, the bar fight was one of my favorite scenes because it's so Sadie!  She's whacking people around, and taking a few hits herself, as she's trying to get to the exit and then, of course is arrested.  Her reaction to being in the cell with Bald Lily had me feeling so sorry for her and laughing all at the same time.

The thing that I like about Sadie, though, is how much she's grown and changed from the first book.  She seems so real in her reactions, her mannerisms, and how she just wants a normal life now.  I like her moxie, I like her romance, and I like how well the mysteries are written.  It was one of those books that I took with me everywhere I went today, so that even if I was stopped at a red light for a few moments, I could read another page or two.  I'm set to read and review Baked Alaska next, where Sadie goes on a cruise and I can't wait.

Here's the backliner:

For Sadie Hoffmiller, going undercover as an informant for the Bureau of Land Management on an archeological site in Santa Fe, New Mexico, seems like the perfect way to stay safe and busy while a threat against her life remains unresolved. Sadie’s days are spent digging up artifacts in the middle of nowhere while also digging up information on her fellow “dirt geeks.” With the help of her baking prowess—no one can resist those amazing dulce de leche bars—and Pete’s cousin, Caro, who takes to the detective work wholeheartedly, Sadie is finding herself again.

But the bright Southwestern sunshine only serves to illuminate the danger that lurks in the shadows. When recent burials are found on an ancient site, Sadie finds herself in the middle of an unexpected—and unwanted—investigation. The more she digs for the truth, the more secrets she uncovers—secrets that people would kill to keep hidden.

Before Sadie knows it, she’s arrested for starting a bar fight (which was totally not her fault), her new friend is missing, and she’s worn out her welcome in Santa Fe in more ways than one. A trip to the annual hot air balloon fiesta in Albuquerque is supposed to give her a break, but before long, she learns that when you’re dealing with the black market antiquity trade, you’re not really safe anywhere you go.

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First Page Friday & Meridian Posted My Review!

I am so excited today.  Meridian Magazine posted a review I did of Jennie Hansen's new book, Where the River Once Flowed!  You can check it out here  I love doing reviews, and it is so nice to have it in a magazine like Meridian that has a wide audience.  So, I'm celebrating today for sure.

Today's submission to First Page Friday got some great compliments as well as some sound advice from Ms. Shreditor in their critique.  If you would like your first page critiqued, submit your double-spaced 12 pt. font first page to juliecoulterbellon@gmail.com with First Page Friday in the subject line.  First come first served basis.  See you next week!

The Entry
Prophecy Rising
by C. Michelle Jeffries
“Hogwash!”

The words startled Noble. Up until now the conversation had been amicable.

Christopher, the head of the Ruling Council sat back and shook his head, staring at Noble. “Complete and utter hogwash.”

Noble let his arms fall to his sides. It’d been years since he’d stood in front of the twelve of them. To be honest, he'd hoped that they’d just forgotten about him altogether. Or found someone else to vent their frustrations on. It was a total surprise when the letter from the Ruling Council had been delivered by hand. Asking for a response before the courier would leave.

He’d wanted to slam the door in the young man’s face, but he knew better than to make the Ruling Council mad. He also knew that it wasn’t the young man’s fault, and he was just the messenger. Besides he did have manners, the women in his life, insisted on him having some level of good behavior.

“Why on Earth would you make up such stories? Do you take us for fools?” A woman with gray hair pulled back in a tight bun asked. Noble remembered this woman she’d been one of the largest rumormongers at his and Lyris’ wedding reception.

“I am not making this up.” He stood mere feet from the head of the council. He refused to stand in the wooden square designed to humiliate the person being questioned. After years as the Ruling Council’s intended whipping boy he knew their tactics.

“Prophecy, rumors that we are not human? A home planet? You expect us to believe this?”

“I’m rather surprised that you seem to have forgotten about it.” Noble clasped his hands behind his back, holding back the bite in his voice. His wife would be proud of his restraint.

“I think I’d remember something as farfetched as that. What you are suggesting is not only completely nonsensical but borders on insanity.”

“Then why are separated so much from other humans? Why are our schools and congregations exclusive? If we’re human why does the Academy exist?”

Noble was met with silent stares. Wow, a little sensitive there.

Ms. Shreditor's Comments

There are some compelling elements at work in this sample. The one-word bit of dialogue at the beginning is provocative enough to grab reader attention, and the ensuing observation that the conversation had been amicable up until that point sets the stage for the argument that follows. (However, please do fix “words” in the second paragraph, as Christopher has only spoken one word.) By the time we’re done reading this first page, we know that Noble has leveled some pretty serious accusations against the Ruling Council, and the council seems none too pleased by them.

The pacing in this scene works well. The narrative segues smoothly from Christopher’s incendiary opening dialogue to an explanation of how Noble has ended up before the council. The exchange that follows between Noble and various council members tells the readers what they need to know at this point: that he has angered some very important, potentially dangerous people.

I think that what this piece needs is polish. There are a number of punctuation errors that are a bit distracting, plus a missing word in the second to last paragraph. This first page could benefit from a fresh set of eyes to clean up these issues. I would also suggest using sentence fragments sparingly. There are two of them in the third paragraph (“Or found someone else to vent their frustrations on” and “Asking for a response before the courier would leave”). If you read the passage aloud, you won’t come to a full stop before these sentences, even if you’re going for a more staccato rhythm. In the first instance, I’d use an em dash; in the second instance, I’d just use a comma.

This story taps into a hot market: dystopian science fiction. As you develop your manuscript, make sure that it stands out on a shelf of similar stories. Evil ruling bodies are a dime a dozen in dystopian literature, so make sure that yours brings something fresh to the table. If the dystopian elements are too generic, acquiring editors will likely shy away from your book; therefore, it’s crucial that your story has a strong hook, something attention-grabbing in a crowded sci-fi marketplace. When in doubt, consult the classics—1984, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, We (considered by many to be the original recipe dystopian sci-fi), and others—for inspiration. The ingredients for a page-turning story are here, and with some line editing, I think it can get there. 

  

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