Late Book Review--Miss Delacourt Has Her Day

I'm sorry that my post is so late today. I had some unforeseen things come up and I spent most of it running around to different appointments. Thank you to my faithful readers for being so patient with me.

Today I'm reviewing Miss Delacourt Has Her Day by Heidi Ashworth. I am a big Jane Austen fan and I love the way this author's style is so reminiscent of hers. This is a historical romance through and through, but it does have a bit of adventure to it, in the fact that our hero Anthony is called upon to really work for the woman he loves.

When I picked up this book I didn't realize that it is a sequel to Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind. If I had known that I probably would have read that one first, since I think that the reading experience I had with Miss Delacourt Has Her Day would probably have been richer for having the background of the characters.

It was a short and easy read, which I loved, but felt the ending was a bit too abrupt---especially for a romantic at heart like myself. (Or maybe I just didn't want it to end.) It was a sweet romance, full of so many wonderful details of the time period, and I really enjoyed it.

Here is the back copy for it:

Ginny Delacourt felt the course of true love could not have run smoother. After all, it required only a fortnight, a pair of highwaymen, a pox quarantine, a sham betrothal, and a masquerade ball to bring Sir Anthony up to snuff. When her beloved suddenly becomes the heir to his uncle, the Duke of Marcross, protocol dictates that he drop the 'Sir' from his name. It's his uncle who insists Ginny, daughter of a lowly vicar, is not the proper bride for a future duke.

Lucinda and Lord Avery arrive on the scene to stir up trouble, and Ginny's normally manipulative Grandaunt Regina seems helpless to arrange anything, least of all a frowned-upon wedding. It's up to Anthony, with help from his fussy valet, to see to it that Ginny has her day.

The road to true love just got a little bumpier.

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My Embarrassing Moment

For those of you on PaperWatch 2012 I have two bookbags full of paper still left to go through in my first corner. Which is good news because that means I've gone through five bags of paper already. So I'm feeling pretty good about that.

On Saturday, I was reffing a girls' basketball game. The reffing staff was short-handed, so I was doing this game on my own. The first half started well and things were really moving, but the white team started doing some body slam fouls (you know, they're straight up and down and using their bodies to push people) and some three second in the key violations. So I called them. The other team was less experienced and while they didn't do many fouls (mostly because they hardly touched the ball and the other team was really fast) I called the ones I saw.

Unfortunately, that wasn't good enough for one spectator who was sitting under the blue team's basket. Every time we came down the court she would start with the comments, "why aren't you calling three in the key on the blue team?" and "why aren't you calling that foul?" or "hey, is the blue team your favorite?" and on and on. I tried to ignore it, but as the game wore on, it was annoying me that she questioned my fairness and integrity. (I know, I know, it's part of the reffing gig, but still!)

The second half started and as I ran down the court, I gave her a good look. Older woman, fit-looking, arms crossed, watching me intently. She also had another lady sitting next to her. Probably moral support or something, since they looked close. Sure enough, the first time down the court, the older lady had some more comments on my reffing and kept it up the entire game. I finished the game more than annoyed with her and went over to the scorer's table to finish up, glad it was over, and the lady who'd been sitting next to my tormentor came up to me.

I have to admit, my expression was sour. I knew she was probably going to be just like her friend and complain about my reffing. I folded my arms and steeled myself for what was going to come out of her mouth.

And she looked up at me and said, "Aren't you Julie Bellon? You came to our book club two years ago. I love all your books!"

Honestly, I think I just opened and closed my mouth because I was so surprised. And sorry that I'd been so presumptuous and given her my annoyed stare. I did smile and say that I was Julie Bellon (okay, it was a little tempting to say that is my twin sister or something, but I owned it.) She went on to gush about the books of mine that she'd read and we walked out together. (Her friend left quickly after the game. Go figure.)

So the moral to my embarrassing experience is, "don't assume anything." Or "whate'er thou art, act well thy part," or "even mean people have great friends who like your books," or something like that. You never know who's watching and who knows you. I know I'm going to be better next time and at least greet people with a smile. Maybe I can add that to my new year goals.

Have you ever had an experience like that? Or do those sorts of things just happen to me?

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First Page Friday

I'm excited for a whole new year of First Page Fridays. We still have openings in February, so submit your first page now! (Directions in the side bar).

Let's get on to today's submission.

The Entry
Bucket List of Hope
by Debra Erfert

“I changed my mind!”

The tornado-like wind tore the panicked words from my lips the moment I spoke them. The plane’s open door, where the experienced skydivers already jumped from, looked innocent enough when six grown men sat between IT and me. But now the huge, gaping hole seemed monstrously evil. It laughed at me, like it knew my irrational terror as I stared down at the geometric patches of green and brown landscape with my stomach crammed up my throat. I moved to grab the doorframe. The diving instructor attached to my back had other ideas.

We fell from 13,000 feet.

The icy wind stabbed at my skin, keeping me from passing out. I had no choice but to greet death with my eyes open—head on. I looked up. A man from the dive company pointed to his helmet and then waved. My brain clicked on. I paid extra money to have my first experience recorded. With my face pushed back into a perpetual, flapping sudo-smile by the freefall wind, I waved back at the guy. He gave me a thumbs-up sign. I gestured him right back.

Jerry, or Gary, my over-enthusiastic diving instructor, took hold of my wrist and led my fist to a ball. I unclenched my hand and pulled. My backpack fell apart—and then swooshed . . . our parachute opened, stopping our freefall into a gentle descent. That intense fear of dying I had for the past sixty-seconds vanished, and just like that I remembered everything they briefed me on in the pre-jump class.

Above my head, I grabbed the steering toggles in my fists and gently pulled down on the right. I laughed, as we turned clockwise. I tried turning in the other direction. No problem. My heart raced, beating with a freedom that escaped my tenuous grasp for the twenty-seven years of my life.

Ms. Shreditor's Comments

Happy 2012!

It seems we’re off to a great start this year. This week’s sample definitely has my attention. Opening with dialogue can be a risky maneuver, but in this case, it’s quite effective.

I often take first pages to task for not telling us enough about the narrator, but in this case, the sparse characterization works. The page-turning action generates plenty of momentum on its own. We don’t know anything about this narrator, but we can infer certain things from cues in the text. The voice strikes me as female. If I had to guess, I’d say that this opening scene signifies a moment of real empowerment for a previously inhibited young woman. The story tells us that, at age twenty-seven, the narrator never done anything like this.

Be careful with past tense. There are a few instances of the simple past (“verbed”) that should be expressed in past perfect (“had [verb]ed”). Examples: 1) “…where the experienced divers had already jumped from,” 2) “That intense fear of dying I’d had for the past sixty seconds…,” 3) “I had paid extra money to have my first experience recorded,” and 4) “…a freedom that had escaped my tenuous grasp for the twenty-seven years of my life.” In each of these instances, you’re describing something that happened before something else, so use of the past perfect is necessary.

There are other minor syntactic hiccups that a light copyedit would resolve. But the author accomplishes something important here: natural prose rhythm (thanks to varied sentence length). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It shows when an author reads his/her work aloud.

One last question: Did you mean “pseudo-smile” instead of “sudo-smile”? Just checking!



Thanks so much Debra and Ms. Shreditor. I think we're off to a great start, too. See you next week!

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Writing Tip---Are You An Over-Describer?

I wish I could describe to you how amazing and wonderful it's been to get rid of two grocery bags full of paper. Paper that I'd been hanging onto for years, for no apparent reason.

You see, I have two corners of my bedroom that have paper piles in them. And it is one of my goals for this year to get rid of all of that. It overwhelms me to look at all of it, (because there's a lot) so I've been following Flylady's advice of doing it fifteen minutes at a time. So every day, I get out a pile of it and go through it for fifteen minutes. And mostly, throw it away while wondering why I kept it in the first place. I certainly didn't need it, but obviously at one time thought I might, so I held onto all that clutter.

I was thinking about how I'm actually the opposite in my reading and writing habits. I really don't like over-description and "clutter words" at all and go out of my way to avoid it, (unlike my cluttery paper room). As a former reporter, (I almost wrote reformed there, haha!) economy of words is a big deal. When you only have two inches to get the story across, you learn quickly to cut down on any flowery words and get to the point. And my books have kind of followed the same thing, but of course I've gone back to add layers and description to fill in my blanks so to speak, and overcome my habit of being too stark in my writing.

As a reader I must say when I come across over-description I roll my eyes and try to skip that part. You know what I'm talking about, things like, "The emerald green eyes crackled with anger, staring daggers over my fast-fluttering heart." First of all, can anyone tell me why characters with green eyes can't have something other than emerald eyes? (My eyes are green and I have to admit I was a teeny bit proud of that until I got told they were more of a swamp green. That humbled me.) And how can eyes crackle with anger? I think I'd freak out if someone's eyes started crackling and I witnessed it. (I imagine it sort of like the Emperor's eyes when he's got Luke on the floor and is electrocuting him with his laser stare in Return of the Jedi, maybe?) But, you get my point. It's the over-description that weighs the writing down and takes you out of the story.

As a reader, there's really nothing you can do about over-description. As a writer, however you can be on the lookout for a few telltale signs.

1. If you've used a list to describe something---you might be an over-describer. She was a fair-haired girl, a little plump, with short stubby legs, and thick-rimmed glasses. Laundry lists like that are always a sign that you are telling your stories instead of showing it. Delete and be more subtle.

2. If you have an entire page of setting description with nothing else---you might be an over-describer. Giving your reader setting details is important, but you have to sprinkle it in among your dialogue and characters. Balance is the key.

3. This one sort of goes along with the last one. If you've described everything down to the cracks in the sidewalk---you might be an over-describer. Pick and choose the details that you are describing. Your reader generally doesn't need to know every tiny thing (unless it's pertinent to the plot). I once heard the advice that everything that you include in your book, each character, each scene, each snippet of dialogue, should all be a thread in your plot, something pertinent that furthers your story. If it doesn't, then delete it.

4. If you have a lot of "ly" verbs, you might be an over-describer. "She talked angrily to her fetchingly handsome beau", "she said firmly to herself as she lovingly stroked the achingly beautiful flower," "he slammed his hand down forcefully." You get the picture.

The key to description is subtlety and pertinence. I know you've all heard it said that a novel is like a beautiful painting, the shades of light and dark, the layers of effort and realistic portrayal evident. But nothing extraneous is included, each image, each background piece adds to the enjoyment of the painting.

So, just like I'm throwing out papers that I don't need, but thought I might one day, throw out the extra stuff. You don't need it no matter how much you think you do. Don't be an over-describer. Make your words count.

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Word Count Wednesday

Well, so far I'm doing great on my New Year's goals. I have been getting rid of a grocery bag full of paper every day, I've read two books so far this year, and I've been revising my manuscript.

Because I'm revising and adding in a storyline, I haven't had a great word count, but I did add 1028 words to my manuscript. So I'm counting that as a success.

There is just something so satisfying about revising and molding my manuscript. I really do love that part of writing.

How did you do this week?

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Book Review: the Sweetest Kiss

The Sweetest Kiss by Marie Higgins is just that---a sweet regency romance.

Our hero, Trey Worthington, has been told his entire life that he is just like his father. Unfortunately, his father wasn't an honorable man and Trey watched his mother suffer through a difficult marriage. So, not only does Trey believe he can never have a happy marriage, he's decided he will just never marry. He also carries a lot of guilt over something that happened to his younger brother. Yet, once our tortured hero is introduced to Judith, a young lady that he becomes responsible for, he begins to question everything he thought he'd ever known.

Judith Faraday doesn't feel like she needs a guardian, especially one like Trey whom she is very attracted to. She has endured her parents' death and is carrying a few secrets of her own---including a secret engagement to an officer in the Navy. Things don't go as she planned, however, and she finds herself being introduced into London society, thrust into several situations that have her questioning everything she thought she knew.

I thought this was an enjoyable story and I really wanted to see how Judith would end up. The plot was a bit predictable and some of the language a bit over the top, but I thought the author did a good job in presenting the characters and making the reader identify with them. For those of you who love happy endings, this one wraps up nicely.

Here's the back copy:

Lord Trey Worthington isn’t about to give his heart to a woman. He does not want a marriage like his parents. But when his mother brings in a childhood acquaintance into the home to sponsor into society, Trey has to get Miss Faraday trained properly. The more he gets to know Judith, the more he yearns for something he doesn’t dare reach for. Judith is after a faithful husband—something Trey has been convinced most of his life he’ll never become.

Judith Faraday is only after one thing—to marry her Naval Officer and enjoy a life full of love. She’s doubtful her dream will ever come true while living as the ward to the dowager duchess. However, the longer Judith is with the dowager’s son, Trey, an attraction blossoms. Judith now wonders if God has different plans for her life, because Trey doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage . . . the very thing Judith cannot do without.

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New Year's Resolutions

I know a lot of people don't like New Year Resolutions, but I love them. I try really hard to make my resolutions (or goals) manageable and yet something I need to reach for. Goals give me a direction in my life and are fluid enough that once I reach them, it leads to another goal. I am going to post five of my goals here so I have some accountability for myself.

So here are some of my goals for 2012:

Read 112 books this year.

Write ten pages a week minimum on my work in progress.

Organize my papers and pictures.

Do one memorable family activity per month.

Be more understanding with myself and others.

Do you make New Year Resolutions or goals? Care to share what they are?

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