Book Review: Line of Fire

Rachel Nunes book, Line of Fire, continues the Autumn Rain adventures.  This is by far my favorite series of hers.

Autumn has found her biological father, who happens to also be a suspect in the disappearance of a young girl.  She consults with her sister, Tawnia, and decides to help in the investigation to find out if he's guilty or not.  Of course, her detective boyfriend, Shannon Martin, accompanies her and before they even make it to the city her dad lives in, they are involved in an attempted robbery.  It quickly spirals from there, with gunshots and fists flying on every other page.

It was exciting and I love the new layer to Autumn and Shannon.  Shannon is such a great hero and it's funny how opposite he is to Autumn, yet they really do complement each other.  This was a great case for them, filled with suspense and uncertainty which sort of defines where they are as a couple as well.  I really loved that.  A few times the fight scenes with the bad guys dragged for me because there were so many of them, but it didn't detract from the emotion and the investigation.  I love how her and Shannon have grown over the series and I can't wait to see where it goes.  It also adds a new emotional dimension with how things turn out with her father.  I hope that's part of the next book, too.

Here is the back copy:


Some secrets are best left alone.

Autumn Rain is back to work, along with handsome Detective Shannon Martin, but this time her investigation is personal. She must prove whether or not Cody Beckett is responsible for the disappearance of a young girl. His record makes him the main suspect, even if there's not enough evidence to arrest him, and Autumn's unique ability to read imprints may be the only way she can uncover the truth.

What Autumn discovers, however, is far bigger than she or Shannon expected. Secrets, lies, missing evidence, and Autumn's own volatile feelings regarding Cody muddy the case until they aren't sure whom to trust, even among their own allies.

Soon Autumn and Shannon are running out of time to save their own lives and the lives of more than one little girl. 

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First Page Friday--Our First Non-Fiction

I am happy today to bring you our first ever non-fiction critique.  I am grateful to Ms. Shreditor for all the time and effort she goes to in helping aspiring authors, when she has a full load at her day job.  And thank you to all our authors for their courage in submitting.

If you would like your first page critiqued, send it double-spaced, 12 pt. font, with First Page Friday in the subject line to juliecoulterbellon@gmail.com

See you next week!

The Entry

Fight, Flight, or Hide The Guide to Surviving a Mass Shooting

by John Forsythe

At the moment some mentally disturbed person starts shooting into the crowd around you, you will immediately become one of three things: a victim, a guardian, or a hero.

The victims are those who will do nothing to save others, but who might be able to do something to save themselves. There are those who fit obviously into this category, the best example being little children. Since you don’t know for sure, the victims section is required reading for anyone who goes out into public! It is the least you can do, by definition, to make it as hard as possible for a mass shooter to increase the body count.

The guardians are those who take action to save others as well as themselves. Guardians find methods of escape and help others to get out of danger. They call authorities, tend to wounded, and do all they can to minimize the chaos and the death toll. The best examples of a guardian are those school teachers who have risked all they had to save their students, or people who have used their own bodies as shields to save loved ones. Guardians are amazing people and deserve every respect.

The heroes are those who are prepared either by nature or by training to put an end to a mass shooting by direct action. You may believe that I am speaking now to those with concealed carry permits, to the people who happen to have a gun in their belt when a shooting starts. Though those people could be heroes, we shorten the conversation by assuming that they are the only heroes amongst us. They are not, so if you are not in favor of carrying or owning guns, keep reading.

The hero category is the rarest, but always the most revered by the very nature of their acts and by the possible outcome of their heroics.

I am the first to admit that not everyone can be a guardian or a hero, nor is there shame for many in being a victim. It is the intent of this book to give you the philosophy and some of the strategies you will need to be the best of whatever you end up being. If you are a victim, and at the first shot fired you will know if you are, then I want you to be the best victim you can be—as strange as that sounds. If you have what it takes to be a guardian or hero, then I want you to add strategy and tactics to your bag of tricks.

Ms. Shreditor's Comments

If my memory serves me correctly, this is the first nonfiction submission we’ve received. The rules of nonfiction storytelling aren’t entirely different from those of fiction storytelling; in both genres, your ultimate goal is to put forth a compelling, engaging story that will resonate with readers.

The biggest challenge when it comes to nonfiction publishing is finding an audience. When you sit down to write nonfiction, you want to ask yourself the following questions: Are you writing about a topic or figure of interest to a wide audience? Are you approaching the right readers? Have you approached your subject from the best angle? If it’s a self-help or how-to book, does it fulfill an actual reader need? Do you possess enough expertise to be considered an authority on your subject?

This piece addresses a timely topic, particularly given the recent tragedies in Aurora, Colorado, and Newtown, Connecticut. Many successful books in both the fiction and nonfiction markets pull their material from the headlines, so I think that the subject here is a meaty one.

However, I’m not sure there’s a large enough audience of readers preparing themselves to behave a certain way during a mass shooting. Most readers don’t want to confront such an awful possibility, and a book isn't likely to change how a person will react in the heat of the moment. The readers more likely to consult a book for help are survivors of an actual mass shooting. This is what I meant when I asked whether a nonfiction piece has approached the right readers. Always approach an audience known to exist instead of reaching for one that might not.

The other problem here is that the nomenclature (victims, guardians, and heroes) inadvertently casts judgment on people based on how they react in life-threatening situations. When stacked up against evocative words like “heroes” and “guardians,” the word “victim” becomes somewhat demeaning, which I know isn’t the intent here.

The prose tells us that there is no shame in being a victim, but this feels almost like a concession. There’s an implication that “if you [don’t] have what it takes to be a guardian or hero,” you’re somehow lacking. Successful self-help and instructional books generally adopt the “unconditional positive regard” concept employed by therapists. I think that this piece is striving to do the same, but something gets lost in the labels.

Perhaps the real story here isn’t whether or not someone behaves as a victim, guardian, or hero; perhaps it’s simply what people can do to protect themselves in the event of a mass shooting. (However, I’m not sure there’s an entire book of material there.) Perhaps, as I suggested earlier, it might be more fruitful to write a book for survivors of actual mass shootings—a more concrete audience than the hypothetical victims of a would-be shooting.

There is a book here, and the writing itself is generally strong. I’m happy to have gotten a piece like this for my first nonfiction critique, because it’s given me a platform to discuss some of these key issues. Think hard about whether enough people are reaching out for the advice you’re giving. If you’re approaching the wrong audience, consider recalibrating your book so that it’s approaching the right one.

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Three Tips For Writing Your First Chapter

Well, it's been a morning of highs and lows.  I've been wrestling with my first chapter.  Just when I think I have it pinned down, I think of another layer I could add, or something that it needs to really impact my readers as I introduce them to the characters.

After publishing eight books, though, there are three things I've learned about writing the first chapter.

1.  Don't bother revising the first chapter until you have the ending.  Your first chapter will always change until that end is written because until you know the end, you can't truly have a great beginning.

2.  Be really sure you have a tight balance of dialogue, setting, and character introduction.  Sometimes it's really tempting to introduce your characters with lots of backstory and inner thought in the first chapter.  Don't do it.  Leave breadcrumbs for your reader to follow as they get to know your character.  I mean, if you were introducing yourself to someone in real life you wouldn't tell them your life story and deep dark secrets within moments of meeting, would you?  (If you said yes to that question, we should probably talk.)

3.  And lastly, remember to make your reader care about your character.  If they can't relate or identify with the character or their problem, then they probably won't keep reading.  When you keep things relatable, you keep your readers engaged.  Which is what you want your first chapter to do.

So now I'm going to take my own advice and go back and check that I've done all this with my first chapter. Do you have any great first chapter tips?

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Word Count Wednesday

Well, I've got my lucky writing shirt on and I'm ready to do some serious revising today.  I'm preparing to send this puppy to my beta readers and I want it to be my best work.

It's been a difficult week for getting any writing done so I'm really looking forward to having some time today to just sit and write.

How did your week go?  Have you been able to set any writing time aside?  Did you get any word count?

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Castle and Hawaii Five-O--Now THAT'S What I'm Talking 'Bout

Holy macaroni, where do I even start with last night's shows?

Castle was awesome.  It was tense and even though we were beating the dead mother storyline again (isn't that horse dead yet?) Stana Katic blew me out of the water with her acting skills.  The moment where she's trying to decide whether to suppress that evidence, or where she knows she's let a man go who could potentially hurt innocent people, even the interrogation room scene, it was all amazing.  Katic says everything with her facial expressions.  It is truly amazing to watch.

Castle was no slouch either.  His little comment that he wouldn't have stopped what happened was a tiny bit chilling, considering how Castle's character usually is so laidback.  But it also tells me the depth of what he feels for Beckett and what she's gone through because of Bracken.  It was a really well-acted episode.

The best thing was how the writers kept the tension high throughout the entire hour.  The set-up, the scenes with Bracken, the guilt at what Beckett's done, it was all incredible.  Loved it.

Hawaii Five-O was kickin' it old school with an homage to the original series and rehashing an old script that's been updated a bit.  Robocop was creepy from the get-go, walking through the cemetery and putting together his sniper rifle.  With some of the recent headlines, it made it all the more creepy.  I liked how the fab four worked together and how in the end, the sniper died by a sniper.  Danno and Steve had some cute banter moments (I do not worry about losing you during a gun battle, haha!), but the cargument was my favorite.  (On the well-paved roads of Honolulu, I am definitely the better driver.)

Then at the end, the writers went all Star Wars and had the dead cops who were like his "uncles" and his father appear to Steve, all happy and proud.  Strange and awkward, but I couldn't turn away.

All in all, a wonderful night of television.

What did you do last night?  Did you catch any good TV?

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A Sort Of Book Review: The Five Books of Jesus

I've hesitated to write this book review, mostly because I don't know what to say.  This book is intriguing, annoying, thought-provoking, and unbelievable all at the same time.  There are points where the author seems presumptuous in his presentation of a fictionalized version of Jesus Christ and many passages made me uncomfortable because they didn't conform to my own thoughts and impressions of the Savior.  There were parts that really made me think through what I know and believe to be true, and there were parts that were insightful and added to my own study of the Bible verses being discussed.

Maybe I'm not explaining myself well.  The Five Books of Jesus by James Goldberg is a "lyrical novelization of Jesus' ministry."  It tells of how the Savior's ministry might have looked from his Apostles' point of view or from the perspective of a person he healed or taught.  It's even told from the point of view of his mother and brothers.  It is very "present" if that makes sense and offers things to the readers in a way that makes them feel more "in the moment."  But sometimes, I felt the "lyrical" got in the way of the story and the depiction of the Savior as unsure or weak made me ill at ease.  Yet, there was an easiness and realness about it that did make me want to keep reading.  It was a gritty version of events that I've read before, but not seen in quite this way.

So, the best I can do is say this book is an enigma.  It's hard to really pinpoint or pigeonhole and I think that each person will get something different out of it, depending on their thoughts and experiences with knowing of the Savior and his ministry on earth.

Here is the back copy:

It starts in the desert. John the prophet lowers Jesus under the Jordan’s muddy waters and pulls him up, just as a bird swoops down to skim the river’s surface. 

It spreads next to Galilee, where some welcome Jesus as a disciple of John and others grow wary of his rising influence—fishermen are leaving their nets, tax collectors their offices, and students their masters to listen to this new saint.

After abandoning his nets, Andrew ties knots in the threads of his shirt to remember Jesus’ teachings. After escaping his slum, Judas waits for Jesus to call down the legions of angels who can end a broken world.

But just as Jesus’ movement in the north is gaining strength, he turns south toward the Temple and a fate his followers will struggle to understand.

The Five Books of Jesus, James Goldberg’s lyrical novelization of Jesus’ ministry, tells the story of the gospels as Jesus' followers might have experienced it: without knowing what would happen next or how to make sense of events as they unfold

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First Page Friday

It seems fitting to end this week off with a First Page Friday entry called Relative Evil.  Haha

Here's to the month of February. May it be a wonderful writing month.

As always, thank you to our authors and amazing editors.  See you next week!

The Entry

Relative Evil
by Ryan Albert Williams


The air felt thick, heavy, like when a tornado was about to touch down. Claret Abney watched her dad, a widower of only a year, hold hands with a pretty woman sitting next to him at the restaurant’s dining table, and smile. Twenty-five-year-old Claret guessed the woman couldn’t have been more than a handful of years older than Johnny, Claret’s oldest brother. She was way too young for her dad to be dating, and it was way to soon for him to be staring at her with such amorous eyes. Something was about to break.

James Abney had called for a family dinner never mentioning Adelaide Walker Harris before all three of his grown children had arrived at their favorite restaurant.

Claret sat on the opposite side of the table from her dad and Adelaide. She wanted to watch them. He looked happy, so did Adelaide. Claret had a habit of studying people, their expressions, their mannerisms, even the way they dressed. She was a novelist. She had two books published, with two more manuscripts in rough-draft in her computer. Claret didn’t exactly make enough money to quit her editing job, but she hoped someday that would change. Discreetly studying Adelaide, Claret noticed that she kept her left hand down on her lap. Not once did she bring it up, even when her dinner had arrived, so either her hand was deformed and she was self-conscious of it, or . . . Oh, no! There was only one other reason Claret could think of that a woman would hide her left fingers.

A sickening, burning sensation churned inside Claret’s stomach when her dad stood up. The smile on his face widened. He still had a firm grip on Adelaide’s right hand.

“Everyone, I have an announcement,” James said.

Claret’s pulse beat erratically. The patrons at the tables next to theirs stop eating and were staring as well.

Ms. Shreditor's Comments

What works for me in this sample is the slow buildup to James’s announcement. The author portends the impending bad news with thick air and Adelaide’s concealed left hand. The mood is decidedly ominous. The mounting tension is powerful enough to register in Claret’s body as a “sickening, burning sensation”—a sensation that the reader experiences alongside her.

You might try amplifying the setting by specifying the name of the restaurant—or, at the very least, what kind of restaurant it is. Even just specifying that it’s a Mexican or Indian restaurant will give the reader a clearer picture of the unfolding scene.

One point confused me at first: The second paragraph mentions James Abney, and it took me a minute to piece together that James = Claret’s aforementioned father. I’d recommend moving the first mention of his name to the second sentence of the first paragraph.

While we’re on the subject of text moves, I wonder if “Something was about to break” would work better earlier in the paragraph, perhaps even as the opening sentence. This sentence conveys the tension that powers the scene, and it is certainly evocative enough to grab reader attention and launch the story.

Take care not to disrupt the flow with misplaced details. In the third paragraph, Claret watches her father and Adelaide from across the table. We learn that she has a tendency to people-watch, a detail immediately relevant to the previous sentence. However, the narrative veers off at this juncture to tell us that she is a published novelist who dreams of quitting her editing job to write full time. This is, no doubt, an important character detail. However, I’m not sure that this is the right place to include it. Claret functions more as an observer than as an active participant in this scene. Therefore, I found it a bit jarring when the story flipped suddenly to random biographical details about her; it interrupts the tension that makes this first page so powerful. Consider introducing this information later, when it isn’t interrupting an otherwise action-oriented scene.

This first page has really good bones. We have a young woman whose father is starting over later in life with a much younger woman, and this is bound to stir up both internal and external conflict. The writing is generally solid, with the occasional technical issue. Make sure to give your manuscript a thorough proofread before submitting it to avoid spelling errors, tense inconsistency, and other grammatical issues. But, rest assured, you’re moving in the right direction. This story is definitely on the right track.

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